Depression Takes the Fun Out of Life: How to Bounce Back!

You probably take life very seriously if you’re depressed. It’s probably the result of neurochemistry gone awry and a particularly dark and pessimistic take on reality that makes you feel helpless and hopeless.

Getting pleasure out of life, playing and fun are often lost in depression’s onslaught.

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When not depressed, I have a goofy sense of humor that bursts forth without warning: just ask my family! I also love to laugh at unabashedly juvenile movies – – Blazing Saddles and Anchorman, come to mind. But when depressed? I can’t muster a simple smile, my face locked in a type of grim sadness. In fact, it seems at such times as if everyone else is effortlessly enjoying life – – except me. And that feels pretty lonely.

I can also get pretty angry. I feel that depression is cheating me out of the sweetness of life that everyone has a right to: the ability to enjoy myself.

Richard O’Connor, Ph.D. writes that the cause of our loss of joy and laughter when depressed emanates from a damaged sense of self:

“Depression is a loss of parts of the self. Instead of experiencing our inner selves as strong, vital, and joyful, we see ourselves as weak, damaged, or blameworthy. We wish that others could make us feel better, but we can’t usually express such wishes directly; instead we use various self-defeating defense mechanisms to keep our wishes out of consciousness. Play is essential to nurturing the self. The depressive, trying to hide from his own punitive ego like Adam from a wrathful Jehovah, feels that he’d better never let his guard down, always be busy, and always be productive. But play changes moods. Play can lift depression.”

But just how do we go about starting to play? Here’s Dr. O’Connor’s take on what play is and how to partake in it:

1.  Play is usually physical. Our bodies are engaged. We move, we use our large muscles, we can sweat.

2.  Play often involves a conscious abandonment of dignity, sometimes by putting us into roles or positions that are outside our usual behavior.

3.  Play usually involves others. Solitary play is okay if there is no one available, but it’s more fun with other people.

4.  Play involves being spontaneous, doing what our impulses tell us. This may require planning. Games have rules to keep our spontaneity in safe limits. Spontaneity helps us lose self-consciousness, which seems to be a major point of play.”

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Grownups like you and I all too often dismiss having fun as a remedy for depression. In my experience, this is a big mistake. It should be part of everyone’s depression toolkit. It dismissive attitude is rooted in the negative, ruminative thinking that goes in our heads before even trying to participate in play. Dr. Hara Estroff Marano talks writes about the value of play:

“As welcome and wonderful as those feelings generated by play are, it’s value among adults is too often vastly underrated. We would all agree that play lifts stress from us. It refreshes us and recharges us. It restores our optimism. It changes our perspective, stimulating creativity. It renews our ability to accomplish the work of the world. By anyone’s reckoning, those are remarkably worthy achievements.”

Once you’ve jumped in feet first, the flow of pleasurable experiences takes over and the benefits sink in.

Is play missing from your daily round?

Don’t let your depression squash all the joy out of your life. Go play and have fun!

Copyright, Daniel T. Lukasik, 2015

 

 

 

Building Your Depression Toolkit

One study found that as many as eighty-percent of all people in this country that suffer from clinical depression don’t get any treatment.

Given that depression is the leading cause of disability in the U.S. and that over 20 million people are afflicted with it, that’s a lot of people – about 16 million.

However, many of the law students, lawyers and judges with depression that I’ve met tell me that they don’t need to be told to get help because there are already getting it. They’re already in therapy, taking medication or both. They get it. They know that depression is an illness and they have to deal with it.
Some of them have been coping with it for a very long time. I call these people “depression veterans”. I have met many such veterans and their courage and determination to recover and stay well inspires me.

As I wrote in a prior blog, these people are really my “heroes”.

I also have met many in the legal biz who say they’re at the end of their rope. They’ve been in and out of therapy over the years with little or negligible improvement in their depression. Others have started and stopped a number of antidepressant and/or other mood stabilizing medications tired of to little impact on the mood and too many side effects. But the depression always returns for them.

For most of them, it’s not a relapse into major depression. Rather, a mild or moderate depression interspersed with fatigue, a lack of pleasure and a glum outlook on life. What they are experiencing is a fact about depression and its course. That it often a chronic and life-long illness for those so afflicted.
Then there are many who go through long stretches of feeling pretty well most of the time, but still have pockets of depression.

I put myself in this camp.

Most days, my depression, on a scale of “1” through “10” is a 1 or 2, if it’s present at all. If it gets worse, it’s less often, not as strong and has a much shorter duration is much shorter – maybe a 3 or 4. This seems to be especially so during the dark days of winter.

What worked for me to reign in the beast of depression was a change in lifestyle, which included regular therapy, medication, a support group, prayer and exercise. While there is no one thing that is a panacea for depression sufferers, I am convinced that such the positive changes have a direct, lasting an significant alleviation of depression’s worst symptoms.

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To make a lifestyle change, I develop a depression “toolkit”. A game plan that I’ve pretty much stuck to for a number of years. The value of such a toolkit is that it provides a map for us to stay on course. It gives us a sense of structure and a sense of hope.

If you thinking about how to really recover from depression stay healthy, it’s important to come up with your own depression toolkit. There are lots of ways to go about it. The two best examples of depression toolkits I’ve found come from the University at Michigan’s Depression Center and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance.

So pick up your pen and start building your own toolbox today.

Copyright 2014 by Daniel T. Lukasik

 

Be Mindful This Autumn

Autumn is the season we associate with harvest and abundance. It is also a time we connect with nature’s waning energy as it prunes and cultivates.

This year, autumn began in the Northern Hemisphere on September 22. Where my family and I live in the Berkshire Mountains, mornings open with a chill in the air and the crackle of dry leaves scattered on the ground. Afternoons are warm early in the season—they can still feel like summer sometimes. Depending on where you live, you can see some people walking around shorts and t-shirts and others wearing sweaters and heftier coats, until the latter becomes the norm. Autumn nights get colder and deepen into a dark, clear, star-studded sky. The chill in contrast to the heat we felt all summer brings with it the smell of cider, wood smoke and bonfires, and many other seasonal scents. Days begin their descent into darkness much earlier and the nights and mornings get progressively colder.

Maple leaves in Autumn.

Amidst all of autumn’s loveliness, we have to remember to cultivate and conserve our own energy.

As nature’s energy cycle dips and your world of relationships, work, sport, family, friends and more … does not lessen its demands an iota, perhaps increases the pressure—and add to that the upcoming holidays and all of their special demands—it’s easy to over-do things and/or miss something important.

One way to avoid the yearly imbalances that are often predictable during this season is to be mindful of how they manifest. The following is a list of five important areas to pay attention to

1.  Feelings of low or no inspiration.

When you are low in energy you can feel low in inspiration. If that happens, especially in situations in which you need a more adaptable, inspired mindset, you may experience gridlock and the difficulties that it generates in relationships, the ability to move forward with a good idea or rid yourself of a bad one, as well as feelings of detachment and even depression.

Take action: First thing, get your energy flowing. Try adding exercise or a new exercise program. How about: Tai Chi, Yoga, or Chi Kung. These are all good as are jogging, swimming, hiking (absorbing the brisk seasonal scents and colors), and many more. One friend of mine tells me she simply cranks up her stereo and dances.

Take action: Be social and accept congeniality and hospitality form other.

Take action: Watch your nutrition and especially check your cravings that come around the holidays. Over-eating this time of year is a common problem. Try drinking lemon and water, particularly warm, to help curb your appetite.

Take action: Autumn is perfect for introspection and self-awareness. Try this to get you fueled: As yourself—what if tomorrow you could do whatever you want with your life? What if financial concerns were of no matter? What would you do differently to be the person you want to be? I know this may sound impossible for most of us, but roll with the possibility for just a few minutes. What would you do to grow yourself if money were suddenly of no concern? After all it’s just a thought. The reason I am asking you to do this is that this playful thought can give you direction and inspiration to see and begin pursuing what is meaningful for you. Then start scaffolding your way.

2.  Feelings of worry.

It is common during this season when energy is in decline to experience worry. Some individuals express this in the inability to let go of certain facets of their life—including ones that are damaging. Other individuals may become driven to the accomplishment of certain goals to the detriment of others that may be of greater importance. Worry will disturb your sense of flow and positivity and will leave you drained if you don’t keep it in check. Be aware of the tendency toward feel-good compulsions, especially as to the holidays approach. A gentle self-reminder can prevent you from chasing after some risky rewards and better soothe anxieties.

Take Action: Step back. Ask yourself what’s going on? Ask: Are my feelings evolving from internal or external aspects of my life? What are these? Ask: Are they reasonable? Ask: How are they affecting other aspects of my life? Ask: How have similar worries affected me in the past? Do I need to change that? What part? Ask: What life-style changes do I need to make to stave off my ruminations? Start making these changes and reward yourself in an appropriate way for making them. Adding exercise to your daily regiment will help build positive energy and keep it flowing. If you already exercise, add something new: a new routine, a new piece of equipment, etc.

3.  Narrow Focus.

Attention can generally be an issue during times of low energy. During autumn it is easy to get focused too tightly on one thing or another you are pushing yourself to accomplish before the year’s end. This can dry up your energy reserves fast and negatively influence your thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities.

Take action: Do pay attention to your goal but not to the point of fatigue. Step back every now and then and widen your lens. Be sure you are not missing other important information regarding your goal as well as other responsibilities and concerns. Also, remember by sticking only to your comfort zones, you may be missing out on something new and potentially very good.

4.  Feelings of Sadness.

Sadness and grieving frequently manifest in autumn. These can begin a downward cycle that gets bigger and harder to control. The easiest thing for us to do is deny we are experiencing sadness and grief. But then that abdicates stewardship of your own mind to someone (or something) else.

Take action: Use distraction. Perhaps it is through high torque sport or through socialization or music or film or theater. Sometimes just a walk in the chilly air or a swim in colder water is sufficient to reset your compass long enough to help you step back. Then ask: What is the source of my feeling? Ask: What personal lenses (values, opinions, beliefs etc.) am I putting on the situation? Ask: Which of these are driven by my sadness? Ask: What other filters (culture, associates, etc) are telling me I should feel sad? Why? Ask: Is this true? Is this responsible? Is this particular to my case? Am I being swayed? How is their situation like my own? Unlike? What are the immediate and long-term benefits or liabilities of such thinking? To me? To others? Take action: Make yourself aware of how this sadness affects your daily goals. Take action: Challenge the filters you were using to justify your initial sadness.

5.  Burnout. When the year is coming to a close, energies are declining, days are shortening and the holidays are around the corner, it is easy to want to get certain jobs out of the way. Burnout this time of year is not only predictable but can come on like clockwork. Take action: Make yourself aware. But don’t do less with your time. Instead do more – more satisfying things. So you may need to focus on time-management and be sure to make space for plenty more activities that will make your spirit soar.

To optimize your activities, seek tranquility this season and preserve your energy. Spend time centering and exploring more about who you are, what you have and what you need—and especially how this can all fit together. Spend more time outdoors to experience the seasonal patterns of slowing down: from cool and less light, to warm and more light, to cooler and earlier dark. Let these patterns sink into your own mind. Use them to help you energize and organize your own activities and stay in balance.

By Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D.

 

Regain Motivation With A Depression Action Plan

Everyone feels down at some point in their lives. But if you have major depression (also called major depressive disorder), you likely feel depressed every day for most of the day, especially in the morning. You might wake up and have no energy to get out of bed. And even when you do get up, deciding what to do first can feel like a mountainous task.

At those times of inertia, it’s easy to get discouraged. But giving up the idea of getting anything done can make you feel powerless and perpetuate feeling depressed. Instead, fight back with an action plan that propels you ahead, even when you’d rather lag behind.

Creating a Depression Action Plan

A depression action plan can help take the guesswork out of where to get started each morning. It can also empower you to see just how much you can do, which is important because people with depression tend to compare their current levels of activity to past ones.

“For an action plan to be effective, you first have to understand that major depression is an illness, not a weakness,” says Stephen J. Ferrando, MD, a professor of clinical psychiatry and clinical public health in the department of psychiatry at the New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York City. Stop comparing yourself to the past. “It’s not your fault you have depression,” he says.

To get started creating an action plan, it’s best to work with your doctor or therapist. “When you’re depressed, it can be difficult to determine where to begin,” says Randy Auerbach, PhD, ABPP, a researcher, an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard School of Medicine, and the director of the Child and Adolescent Mood Disorders Laboratory at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. Your doctor or therapist can help you identify both short-term and long-term goals to work toward.

Consider these steps you might want to include in your daily action plan:

Tasks you need to do

Make a list of four or five things you need to get done today, such as work and chores. To avoid getting overwhelmed, break down each goal into small parts. For example, instead of making cleaning the entire house your goal, decide to clean just one room today, says Brian Iacoviello, PhD, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.

Activities you enjoy

If depression has taken the enjoyment out of all activities for you, write down what you once found pleasurable. Working toward doing the things you once enjoyed can help you slowly regain momentum. You can also try adding new activities, such as soothing stress-coping experiences (e.g., meditation, yoga, and tai chi).

Time with your support network

Research shows that a support network is critical for depression recovery. Make plans with friends and family and show up even when you don’t feel like it. It helps to have a friend who will hold you accountable. “Social support can be an enormous ally when you’re in dealing with depression,” Dr. Auerbach says. A local or online depression support group can also be a good resource.

Exercise

In a review published in in 2013 in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, researchers reported that even low levels of physical activity, such as walking or gardening for 20 to 30 minutes a day, can help ward off depression. If you’ve stopped exercising, set reasonable goals to allow yourself to slowly get to the level of physical activity you want to reach. You might even combine exercise with socializing by picking a workout activity to do with a friend.

Healthy meals

Eating a balanced diet may help alleviate depression symptoms. Include steps in your depression action plan to create healthy meals each day. To maximize benefits, aim for three meals that include whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, beans, lentils, nuts, seeds, lean meat, fish, eggs, and low-fat or fat-free diary. Never skip breakfast. Be sure to drink plenty of water because even mild dehydration can affect mood. Limit your alcohol intake.

Medication

If you’re taking medication, include specific times to take it in your depression action plan. Sticking to your prescribed treatment plan is the best way to speed recovery.

Journaling

Your entries can provide insight for you and your doctor or therapist to review together to determine patterns of behavior that may be holding you back from doing everything you want to do. Record behaviors such as what you’re doing, how successful you’re being at doing those things, and what you think about when you’re doing them. Once you’ve identified any negative patterns, you can work with your doctor or therapist on how to let them go.

Rewards

Implement a system of rewards to give yourself when you’ve accomplished a goal in your depression action plan. Self-care activities — such as a massage, a new haircut, a movie, or any other activity that makes you feel good and follows your plan for recovery — make good rewards.

How to Stick to Your Depression Action Plan

When the temptation to do nothing crops up each morning, realize that you’ll have to push yourself to take the first step to get started. Once you do that, know that your level of motivation will likely increase. To stay on track, be sure to schedule activities at specific times so you don’t get overwhelmed about what to do next or how much you have to get done. Post your depression action plan in a visible place, and set up reminders by programming alerts on your phone.

Also, remember that your depression action plan may not follow a straight path. There may be setbacks, and that’s okay — just do your best to keep going. Then at your regular doctor appointments or therapy sessions, you can discuss your progress and work together with your doctor or therapist to identify what may still be getting in your way and figure out what to do to change it.

At the end of each day, focus on what you’ve accomplished instead of what you haven’t. “The greatest challenge for a person with depression is to overcome pessimistic thinking, helplessness, and hopelessness,” Auerbach says. “But with proper treatment and a good action plan, depression can be conquered.”

By Barbara Sadick

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