Depression Is Real
by Daniel T. Lukasik Esq.

Next month will mark my twenty-year reunion from law school.  It has truly been a journey.  Part of that journey for me has been clinical depression.  I sank into a major depression about five years ago.  In the beginning stages of the illness, it is common to wonder just why one is feeling so bad.  I had always been a somewhat pensive person who tended to see the negative in most situations, especially as a litigator.  Yet, this felt different: it was difficult to get out of bed in the morning, I felt
tired all the time, I couldn’t concentrate.  I finally got help, and after a period of time, things got a little bit better.

My Friends Didn’t Believe Me and Didn’t Understand
Looking back on that experience, one of the most difficult aspects of depression that I experienced was that people simply did not believe me.  They did not believe that I had depression, and if they did, they did not believe it to be a serious medical condition.  One colleague told me that all I needed was a “good vacation.”  Another opined that I was simply not “grateful” for all the good things in my life.

These common responses made me feel a profound sense of loneliness that no one understood.  I was going to see a psychologist for an hour once a week and a psychiatrist once a month.  Both were essential to my recovery, but they were simply not enough.  They were not with me when my colleagues told me to simply, “suck it up” or when friends told me to, “get over it.” 

A Defining Moment Began My Recovery
I went looking for support from others who had suffered from depression.  While searching the internet about a year ago, I came across a site called depressionisreal.org.  The site featured a testimonial from a Nobel Prize Laureate speaking simply, but profoundly,  about his own struggles with the disease.  This was a defining moment for me.  I was not a lazy, moral failure for not, “sucking it up.”  I had a “real” disease and I deserved compassion and understanding from others - - not recrimination.

Once I understood that depression was a disease that needed treatment and was not simply “in my head”, I wanted to reach out to the hundreds of thousands of lawyers who, we estimate, suffer from it.  When I went looking for a website for such lawyers, I could not find one.  So I built one.  Lawyerswithdepression.com was formed to help lawyers deal with their depression in an honest and compassionate way.  It was also created to educate those who do not suffer from depression about the nature of the disease and how to heal it.

We Need to Listen to Help Heal
In addition to starting the website, I started a support group for local lawyers struggling with depression.  All of the lawyers who come to the group are seeking understanding.  They are longing to hear others tell them that their, “depression is real.”  In the process of being affirmed, we feel a sense of community and sharing that is profoundly healing.  In such a setting, lawyers learn that they are not alone, that many others in their profession suffer from depression and that these peers are there to help.  The support group becomes another pillar of recovery.

In closing, we all need to open our eyes and ears to learn about depression.  A wise Rabbi once said that the most profound act of intimacy was listening.  When we put aside our assumptions about what depression is, we then are able to listen to ourselves and others.  In this act of intimacy we become healers and healed.