How Lawyers Can Find Silver Linings In Dark Times

Dr. Beau A. Nelson is a Doctor of Behavioral Health and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the Chief Clinical Officer at FHEHealth in Florida. He specializes in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Integrated Behavioral Healthcare, maximizing medical, psychiatric, Neuroscience, and clinical interventions.

The philosopher Fredrick Nietzsche famously said, “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.” There’s some debate over the truth of that statement.  Obviously, some life experiences are so traumatic they leave little room for silver linings.  At the same time, emerging therapies like “Post-Traumatic Growth” look to capitalize on the process of healing from trauma or apply a strengths-based perspective that builds on successes and positive efforts to get better.

When we look at the dark times that most people will suffer in their lives—the end of a relationship, job loss, financial stress, a life-changing diagnosis, or the death of a loved one—we might do well to take the view that what we do with these events can, in fact, grow us as people.  We might benefit from telling ourselves that we can take comfort in overcoming obstacles and maybe even develop confidence in challenging times in the future.

True Stories: A Woman Lawyer Speaks Up About Her Anxiety

“True Stories” is a series of guest blogs I am running. Below, a woman gives her anonymous account of developing clinical anxiety during law school and how she finally decided to get help and take care of herself.

I am a woman, an attorney, and someone who happens to struggle with clinical anxiety.

It started in law school. At first, I thought it was just the jitters from being in a fishbowl of super-competitive overachievers like me. This was Cornell Law School, after all. What did I expect?

But as my first year of law school progressed, my anxiety when from background noise to the forefront in my life.  I had panic attacks, I often couldn’t sleep, and I just felt wired all the time. It seemed to fuel my drive to succeed, and I over-prepared for everything, often reading a case note four or five times.  I never talked about my struggles with anyone that first year.

The Elephant in the Room at Law Firms? Lawyer Depression

I was 40 years old when depression first struck.

I was a trial lawyer and managing partner at my firm. From the outside, I was successful: a high-paying career, interesting work, a great family, and lots of friends.

From the inside, however, something was terribly wrong.

There was a deep sadness that wouldn’t go away. Before this time, I had gone to therapists for stress-related issues. Therapy always worked. After a few months talking things through, I always felt better and stopped going.

But this time, it was different. Things didn’t get better.

Lawyer Procrastination, Depression and Multitasking

Most lawyers who are depressed have a hard time being productive. Work—and here I mean everything from preparing for depositions to arguing a motion in court to the kinds of “work” we assign ourselves, like reading a good book or planting a garden—is a chore to the depressed. It drains us, leaves us feeling as bad as before, physically worn out and emotionally depleted, instead of proud of ourselves and invigorated. Other people with depression seem to work very hard all the time, but there is little payoff for their efforts.  As with so much of depression, there is a real chicken-or-egg question—is work so difficult because we’re depressed, or are we depressed in part because we can’t accomplish anything? And as with so many chicken-or-egg situations, we face a false dichotomy: the truth is, poor work habits and depression reinforce each other.

Lawyers, Don’t Let Perfectionism Ruin Your Health

Duke University Law grad, Jennifer Alvey explores why lawyers have such poor mental and physical health: “Part of the answer lies in lawyers’ predisposition toward perfectionism. I often encounter lawyers who can only envision doing something if they can be all in. Doing something less-than-perfectly is seen as failure. When it comes to exercise and diet, this kind of thinking can set anyone up for failure because they will try to make big, grand changes at once, be unable to sustain them, and quickly quit in disgust.”  Read the rest of her Blog

Lawyers In Search of a Soul

From the blog Lawyers in Search of Soul, veteran attorney Tom Cox writes, Perhaps the most soul-crushing consequence of attempting to maintain a charade of perfection, however, was the inevitable isolation and fear of acknowledging and sharing fully of oneself with friends and colleagues.”  Read the Blog

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