Ashleigh-Rae Thomas blogs, “Depression, anxiety, PTSD, borderline, these are all diseases and disorders. You haven’t done anything wrong! It’s taken me a long time to realize too that I haven’t done anything wrong.When I was going through it, and if I’m being honest, I still am, I felt utterly alone. The symptoms of depression sometimes present themselves as flaws. I kept thinking if I adjusted my attitude or if I weren’t such a bad person then I would feel better.” Read the rest of her blog.
The Washington Post reports, “Mental-health issues have always been shrouded in stigma, despite data showing they affect about 18 percent of American adults. Because people tend to mimic the actions and opinions of celebrities they admire, interviews like Bell’s make a small dent in that stigma. Add her small dent to that of actor Chris Evans who, while promoting himself as the unshakable Captain America, discussed his anxiety in Rolling Stone magazine.” Read the News
The ABA’s GPSOLO magazine reports, “Lawyers seem to have a particular reluctance to seek help for depression and mental health issues because they are concerned about appearing weak or negatively affecting their reputation. Lawyers we may be, but we are human, after all. In 2004 a study was completed at Cottonwood de Tucson, a behavioral health treatment center in Arizona, where lawyers recovering from mental illness were interviewed. These individuals indicated that one main obstacle preventing them from accessing care was that they believed they could handle it on their own. Additionally, these lawyers were afraid that seeking help would negatively impact their reputation.” Read the News
National Public Radio reports, “Online programs to fight depression are already commercially available, and while they sound efficient and cost-saving, a study out of the U.K. reports that they’re not effective, primarily because depressed patients aren’t likely to engage with them or stick with them.” Read the rest of the News
She had always dreamed about being Dallas County district attorney. But as her career took off, her personal life was falling apart—divorce, pain pills, thoughts of suicide. After two months of treatment, she says she’s ready once again to serve. Is she up to the job? Read the News
Blogger Carol Richard writes, “Have you ever had those times when the last thing you wanted to do is interact with another person [when depressed]? Since isolation can become fuel to the depression – I take steps to not let it take hold of my life.” Read the Blog
“What can I do to help my depression?”
Well, there are many things you go do, really: therapy, medication, etcetera, etcetera.
But one idea you might not have given much thought to: join a depression support group. There are many benefits. I have belonged to one for the past seven years. Here are some of my thoughts about why it’s good for you and how to find one.
Why It’s Good For You
One of the worst aspects of depression is the loneliness that sufferers endure. There are several reasons why this is so: they don’t feel up to being with other people, others simply don’t understand, or they feel a sense of shame and hide. While it may be a good idea to take “timeout” from others to enjoy some peace or not share with others that we have strong reason to believe won’t understand, these strategies are often maladaptive and only serve to maintain and/or fuel one’s depression. Here is a bit of hard-won wisdom I’ve learned: when I feel the worst is when I most need to be with other people and share.
Being with others is even more critical when you’re in pain. You need to communicate your distress and know that your “tribe” will listen and care. When this doesn’t happen, you feel alone, distressed and even abandoned. You wander in the wilderness of pain by yourself and endure it as best you can. But don’t you deserve better than that?
Having a place to admit and share your story
Andrew Solomon, author of the best-selling book The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, writes:
Depression is a disease of loneliness. Many untreated depressives lack friends because it saps the vitality that friendship requires and immures its victims in an impenetrable sheath, making it hard for them to speak or hear words of comfort. Worldly success does little to assuage that agony, as Robin Williams’ suicide makes clear. Love, both expressed and received, is helpful, not because it ameliorates the symptoms of depression (it does not), but because it gives people evidence that life may be worth living if they can only get better. It gives them a place to admit to their illness, and admitting it is the first step toward resolving it.
Besides the psychological salve that support can bring to the wounds of your loneliness, there are important physiological reasons for being part of a support group.
Positive experiences can also be used to soothe, balance, and even replace negative ones. When two things are held in the mind at the same time, they start to connect with each other. That’s one reason why talking about hard feelings with someone who’s supportive can be so healing: painful feelings and memories get infused with the comfort, encouragement, and closeness you experience with the other person. (Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom, Rick Hanson, Ph.D. with Richard Mendius, M.D.)
I’ve talked to hundreds of folks about depression over the years and often found that a good chunk are resistant to joining a support group. They feel tired and unmotivated to do so or feel hopeless that anything, even this, will help their depression. They have to meet this resistance and push forward because as depression expert Richard O’Connor, Ph.D. once told me, “Depression isn’t your fault. But it is your responsibility to get better.” And a support group, together with treatment, is one of the best ways for you to take responsibility for getting and staying better.
Small steps are best. Before going to a group, get in touch with the contact person for the group and speak with them by phone, or, better yet, meet them for coffee to see if the group would be a good fit for you.
How to Find a Support Group
It isn’t as hard to find a support group as you may think. Here’s my list:
The Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance
The National Alliance for the Mental Ill
Anxiety and Depression Association of America
If you are a lawyer, check in with your local and/or state ABA’s Lawyers Assistance Program.
If there isn’t a support group in your community, my next blog will address how to create one.
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